Seize The Carp

Spinning

My mind is swirling with thoughts I can't comprehend. I'm lost, confused, scared, and tired. I want to go to sleep and not have to wake up in the morning. I don't want to deal with people. I'm like the diseased dirty ex mistress. I'll infect the general public with this gloom. I don't want to be around normal people. They'll see right thru me eventually and say I faked it the whole time. I'm nobody to be interested in. I'm not a whole person. I'm fragments of what people want me to be. I'm a conglomeration of others' imaginations. That's the only thing I know about me anymore. I don't know what I want in life. I don't know how to dream any longer. I don't know what I dreamed for to begin with. I don't know where to start to feel something. I don't know why I should be here. Is God this mean? Why do I have to have options? Options I can't see. I see two options. Keep waking up and cry and be confused and cry somemore. Or stay in bed and cry and sleep and maybe if I sleep enough I become lethargic enough to not have to get up.

I'm gonna go cry. And try to sleep for now. We'll see what tomorrow brings.

posted by Unknown @ 21:04