Seize The Carp

What's Wrong?

Come. Step into my world. It's a little crowded. People are everywhere. Smiling, havin a great time. Birds are singing. The sun is shining. Why am I not? Why am I lonely? I fell like those cheesy commercials for Paxil or depression studies. You know the ones that ask you 3 questions about your lifestyle and if you answer yes to all three than you might be suffering from long horrible sounding name for nothing and you should ask your doctor about this numb-all miracle drug.

What's wrong with me? I don't smile anymore and I feel it everyday. I've tried the forced smile that is supposed to just forcibly lighten one's mood. It didn't work. Or it hasn't worked yet.

I need/want to cry. But I can't. There's nothing that deserves tears. Crying doesn't solve anything.

On top of that I'm so completely hurt. I know I shouldn't complain, but it hurts. There are times that being a goodlooking person really hurts. Sure it provides for a lot of attention and don't get me wrong, I like attention. But this attention is directed not nessicarily towards me. Just my body and appearance. It's so shallow. It's not fake, but it's not full, either. It sucks. My death by chocolate with disappointing nuts continues. I'm surrounded by people and lonely.

What's wrong with me?

posted by Unknown @ 19:55