Seize The Carp

Good Morning

So today I start a new chapter to my life. This part of my life didn't just start today but my putting it into words did. This summer was a clarifying summer for me. I was depressed for some of it, tipsy for most of it, and disoriented for all of it. I spent the summer living abroad, and I realize that without the rain there is no rainbows. It poured this summer. No really I got sick from getting caught in a downpour. But I not only see the rainbow, I see the pot of gold at the end. I see that the pot isn't always filled with gold either. It's filled with memories, happiness, and dreams. Or my pot is. My paradigm shifted. My priorities changed. My "Big To-Do" list was altered. I'm still me but a completely different person. I know that sounds contradictory but it's not really. A side of me that's always been quieter and not really visible decided to be seen. It's still me. A year ago I moved back home in with my parents after the toughest and best year of my life. After moving back, I was feeling sorry for myself and not taking responsiblity for my own happiness. I was being a stick in the mud saving all my money so I could escape to a place I thought would be better. I was still unhappy and blaming the place. But gradually, I began to see that happiness is what you make it. And you have to make it. It doesn't just happen. I'm still if not more so a free spirit after these realizations. I want to travel the world thrice over. I've resolved to make friends, to expand my circle and not say no to invitations just because. I won't be shy, either. I will get back into my people loving self.

I'm going to be happy.

posted by Unknown @ 00:42